Real Relationships

What is happening when you enjoy a cuddle?

Setting the scene.

You sigh when you think about a cuddle, nuzzle, snug, or just a good old-fashioned curl up with your special person. Evening embraces after a long day at work. Afternoon delight as you rest your head in the crook of your partner’s arm. Morning snuggles as you delay the inevitable start to the day.

A cuddle evokes a sense of connecting with your loved one. Or does it?

Replaying a memory.

Let’s examine what happens when we cuddle. Replay one of your cuddle memories. Maybe it’s the one from this morning or that long embrace on the weekend. Picture that snuggle clearly in your mind, that warm, safe and cosy place you go to with your partner. In your visualization, did your head lie alongside their arm? Or were you tucked up against the front of their body? As you recall this memory, experience the sensations that coursed through you.

NOW, Ask yourself this question.

“What do you remember thinking about whilst having your cuddle?”

Are you thinking about the sensations in your body? Are you thinking about how relaxed you are? Is your mind drifting and freewheeling? Are you thinking about what you’re avoiding or possibly what you need to do after your cuddle?

Once you have identified what you were thinking about. Ask yourself, who was I thinking about? Were you thinking about yourself or were you thinking about your partner? Most of the time, people are thinking about themselves and how good the cuddle makes them feel, or what they needed to do next. If this is the case, then don’t worry as you’re not alone.

Guess what, your co-cuddlier is also thinking? They are thinking the same thing.

Cuddles that are enjoyable occur when you seek and receive cuddles from another. A cuddle is a self-seeking form of comfort and pleasure.

So, know that, when you are cuddling, it is for your comfort and your partner is providing for you. When your partner seeks a snuggle, it is for their comfort and you are now the provider.

We are all comfort-seeking creatures and there is no harm in asking for a cuddle. It is only when we ASSUME that the cuddle means more than it provides, that we will start to see the trickle of disharmony in our relationship.

You will continue to enjoy cuddles, just do not rely on the cuddle to gauge the depth of connection in your relationship.

To find out more secrets to a fulfilling relationship, sign up for a free Discovery Session with Adrienne.