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Featured Real Relationships

What is happening when you enjoy a cuddle?

Setting the scene.

You sigh when you think about a cuddle, nuzzle, snug, or just the old fashion curl up with your special person.  Evening embraces after a long day at work.  Afternoon delight as you rest your head in the crook of your partners arm. Morning snuggles as you delay the inevitable start to the day.

A cuddle evokes a sense of connecting with your loved one.  Or does it?

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Featured Wellbeing

Gluten intolerance – is there another choice?

gluten eating

Avoidance of Gluten – is it your only choice?

The gluten debate continues with varying opinions regarding the classification of symptoms of gluten intolerance.  Treatments for gluten intolerance all point to the avoidance of gluten. Avoidance works. Yet gluten is still ruling your digestive tract. This infiltrates to other parts of your life. Have you been in the position where you and your friend are choosing a café and one of you is gluten intolerant?

The symbol (gf) becomes your focus when reviewing a menu.

So rather than avoid gluten, face gluten and what you can learn from the intolerance.

Gluten is a protein that provides elasticity.  It binds or holds together.  Looking at the mind body relationship we will use the metaphor bind or holds together as our guide.  Let us see what we can learn from gluten.  What follows is a sequence of questions that may provide some relief from your gluten sensitivity symptoms.  

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Featured Grief

My Father Died – The 4 Day Journey – Day 3

If you missed Day One & Day Two

Day 3

We are ready for those waiting to say goodbye to Dad. His visitors include work colleagues, old school friends, friends of the family, and relatives.  Stories, of Dad’s antics usually comedic has us smiling.  We ask questions of the visitors.  Their answers reveal more parts of Dad’s life. As part of our tradition the visitors move through to refreshments. Here, general conversation flows and somehow normality pierces the veil of unreality. Then the prevailing sadness enters your mind and the veil goes up.

Extended family members  answer our unspoken need.  They  provide gazebo’s, gas heaters, tables, chairs, and a continuous supply of food. This contingency of relatives gives time for the immediate family to just ‘be’. You hear the term of allowing you to ‘be’ and this is what the extended family members did for us.

Discussions about the funeral service start and then stop.   There is some gentle nudging from extended family members.  Until the outline of the funeral service has been somewhat decided upon. The visitors have left and the evening service can begin.

The last night for the departed is a time of sharing.  We call it Poroporo arki (por raw por raw  ah key) this is where family members gather for the last time. Sharing a story or memory of the departed one.  Mum sits next to Dad, the gathering consists of;  9 siblings, and partners. 27 grandchildren and one great grandchild. As well as extended family members.  Children share their stories of their Granddad. Some breakdown as the grief washes over them.  We wait, we wait for them to breath and we wait for them to finish their story.  There is no rush as this is the last night for us to be in the same room as our Dad. I stand up and share the memories of the home that Dad designed.  He designed it with children in mind.  In the 1970’s  door handles were out of the reach of children.  In the house that Dad built, door handles were low enough for use by both child and adult.  He introduced a pulley system for the main doors. This pulley system would close the door when opened.  This solved the problem of warm air escaping due to children leaving doors open.   I too am swept away by  emotion as my voice breaks midway through my story. I swallow and breath and describe  the memory of Dad sitting in the front row at one of my public talks.  He has tears rolling down his face as I speak, he is smiling at me through those tears, his eyes fixed on me. It was one of the most challenging and treasured moments in my public speaking career.

A song is composed, using the written words on Dad’s coffin. The tune is one which Dad would whistle.  It has a haunting melody and the words describe a journey of love.  It is to be our Family Song, a song we will sing at Dad’s funeral service. It is our last night with Dad.  A restless night for us as time ticks away towards Day 4.

Click link to hear  The tune Dad whistled.